I get those looks

In a predicament such as mine - living in a house full of females - I tend to get "the look" quite a bit.  If you're fortunate enough to not know what "the look" is, then odds are you live a fairly fear-free life.

For the uneducated:

 My wife, Devin's "look"

 Devin's drunk friend's "look"

Our friend, Meg's "look"

A giraffe's "look" - not as powerful but equally scary

This is a look that most women learn from the cantankerous matriarchs in their family.  And its effects are devastating.  With a mere glance, such complex thoughts as "you're an idiot" or "why did I marry you?" or "someone's not getting lucky any time soon" can be burned into your forehead with no prior warning. 

And it seems that my two dogs - Sadie and Penny - get in on the action just about every day. Penny has a tendency to run in her sleep. Chasing rabbits or cars or little kids. But when she does it while trying to be a lap dog, it makes for difficult blogging.

Just now I had to wake her up to get her to stop freaking out. I got "the look."

Someone's not getting lucky any time soon

After an attack, you're usually reduced to a puddle of quivering goo, desperately backtracking your prior actions, trying to figure out what you did wrong.  This is a good time to make a mental note: don't do it again, dumbass.

Me?  I've got a bad memory.  I've had several, several concussions in the last five or six years and little tidbits like don't call her fat, don't interrupt her TV shows, or don't touch her...

ever...

are usually well forgotten by the time I've checked my Twitter feed.  Then, I'll inevitably do something stupid again that gets me another look, which in turn gets forgotten...then we end up in an unending vortex.

There is no escape

This is when you need to find something to occupy your time.  Something manly.  Something that will regrow the hair that you shave off your chest.  Something that will make your balls drop back into place.  We're talking grilling.  We're talking fighting.  We're talking motorcycles and cars.  We're talking power tools.

A man among men

In all fairness, we're also talking about baking, and cleaning, and grocery shopping.  Most women's fantasy.

If only this was "the look"

These are some of the things I'll be talking about in this blog.  In the meantime, please feel free to shoot me an email or hit me up on Facebook. 

And please take a moment to